Blessings Beyond

First attempt to blog since home with our second China son….whew! Let me just say, “THIS IS HARD!” Rewarding, and definitely worth it, but hard!

A teenager in China is no different from a teenager anywhere else in the world….attitude, opinionated, defiant, attitude, moody, pouty, attitude, resistant and ATTITUDE! Can you tell I’m that mom who hates an attitude?!?! Part of the problem is that my oldest have never really given me an attitude. Yep, that’s right they are pretty much perfect! No, they really are! :-) John and Alex have really been the easiest kids to parent and have always been a joy. So all this is just new to me. Aaron can become very annoyed with me. While in China, he wanted to get as far away from me as possible, therefore, it was very helpful to have the other adoption families there. A 16 hour flight home, and his first time flying, and he refused to sit beside me…really? It is slowly becoming better though. I think he has become more tolerant of me since home and it’s helped for him to see us all interact as a family. I can see that it will take some time for Aaron to see where everyone fits in the family and where his place is. Every day I can see a change so I think it will just take time and just have to be patient with the “baby steps.” I can tell you who has had the most amazing patience…..my kids! They have been amazing and so totally shocking to see how great they are with our newest ones. Luke and Aaron adore John and Alex! You’ll never see a bigger smile and a tighter hug than when Luke or Aaron set their eyes on John or Alex! No surprise with those two boys, I knew they would brighten any child’s life that we brought into our family. Now Ellen….well, she has blown me away. She was the one with the most reservations about bringing a 14 year old boy into our family, but she has welcomed him with open arms. A little slap in the head, and punch in the arm,here and there, but definite open arms. It is so beautiful to see her interact with Aaron and the two discover a new sibling relationship. I think Aaron has really grown to look to Ellen in a “sisterly loving” way. My little Luke and Ashley are the annoying little sister and brother to Aaron, but so cute to watch them want to share everything with Aaron.

Aaron has started English lessons. We found a tutor for him that we go to 3 times a week and then we also work at home. Lots of distractions and difficult to keep him engaged….but here again, we’ve been told this may just be a 14 year old boy. The language barrier makes it hard to communicate but we often use the translator or translate app to talk to one another.

Funny story……the night of the ESPY award show Caitlyn Jenner was accepting an award and all of a sudden my phone is handed to me from Aaron. When I looked it was set at the translator app and it read “this person a female or male person” I thought I was going to pee in my pants. He never voluntarily translates anything to me, and then that is what I get?!?! Too funny! Even funnier was his expression when I responded back to him. Communicating is hard. When I speak into the translator microphone it usually comes out correct. (I know what you’re thinking... that’s unbelievable considering my redneck country accent) Anyway, when Aaron speaks into it, lots of times it comes out wrong. I’m sure that is very frustrating for him.

For an older kid to be adopted into a strange family and strange environment has to be harder than anyone can imagine. I’m sure an older kid has preconceived notions of the way things should be and has memory of where and what they left. And then to have all those emotions and no one and no way to express them….wow. Luckily, our tutor is a college student that is Chinese and speaks Chinese and English. Really nice to have her for Aaron to talk to and ask questions through her. It is worth our sessions just to see him talk and get so many of the questions in his mind out of his mouth.

I can remember one instant clearly soon after arriving home from China that showed me the sweet side of Aaron. Everyone had sat down to dinner and as I was still putting food out on the table and getting drinks for everyone, Aaron said “MaMa” and motioned toward my chair to sit and eat. It’s moments like that that just melt your heart and make you fall in love with them. It’s a fulfilling feeling to look around the dinner table and see your family enjoying each other’s conversation and food together. If you don’t sit down and eat dinner together, try to as much as you can. Best part of the day at the Yang house!

So many milestones since Aaron’s been home. Biggest one is that he has learned to ride a bike! Hard to master with a small leg and still a little shaky, but has learned enough to get his own. He was so thrilled to get a “boy” bike and stop riding Ashley’s bike with the pink streamers on the handlebars. Determination is the word I would use to describe Aaron. If you’ve ever seen him get around with his crutch you’ll know what I mean. I’m hoping that I can channel that quality into his schooling and catching up with the others in his grade level. Aaron can be really insecure about his abilities and that’s where a big family comes in handy….always someone there to pat you on the back and say “Good Job!”

If you ever see us out somewhere and you speak to Aaron, please know that he may exhibit rude-like behavior not responding, looking away and/or frowning or groaning. Please do not take it personally. We are working on social skills and it is just taking him some time to get used to his new surroundings.

As for little Luke….well, he is on his way to better speech through hearing better with the cochlear implant. We’re excited to see him experience the world with better hearing. Best word to describe Luke these days….FUN! He brings tremendous joy to us all every day!!!

John and Alex are heading into their Senior year, filling out college applications and just enjoying their last year at home with us!

Ellen and Ashley, lots of softball and being sweet sisters to 4 boys in the house.

No way I can speak of all my children without speaking of Michael. So amazing to see Michael in the lives of our newest two sons. Both boys will mention Michael’s name to me and understand he is also their brother and my son. So cute, one day Luke came to me and pointed to the sky, clasped his hands together in a praying position and said “Michael.” Such sweetness! Luke loves to wear my necklace of Michael’s picture. Been home 7 months and I just got my necklace back.

Adding two more children to four children and two dogs adds quite a bit of chaos to an already chaotic home….but God is good and we couldn’t be happier! THANKS BE TO GOD! God bless adoption and the difference love and a family can make for a child!