First attempt to blog since home with our second China son….whew! Let me just say, “THIS IS HARD!” Rewarding, and definitely worth it, but hard!

A teenager in China is no different from a teenager anywhere else in the world….attitude, opinionated, defiant, attitude, moody, pouty, attitude, resistant and ATTITUDE! Can you tell I’m that mom who hates an attitude?!?! Part of the problem is that my oldest have never really given me an attitude. Yep, that’s right they are pretty much perfect! No, they really are! :-) John and Alex have really been the easiest kids to parent and have always been a joy. So all this is just new to me. Aaron can become very annoyed with me. While in China, he wanted to get as far away from me as possible, therefore, it was very helpful to have the other adoption families there.  A 16 hour flight home, and his first time flying, and he refused to sit beside me…really? It is slowly becoming better though. I think he has become more tolerant of me since home and it’s helped for him to see us all interact as a family.  I can see that it will take some time for Aaron to see where everyone fits in the family and where his place is.  Every day I can see a change so I think it will just take time and just have to be patient with the “baby steps.” I can tell you who has had the most amazing patience…..my kids!  They have been amazing and so totally shocking to see how great they are with our newest ones.  Luke and Aaron adore John and Alex! You’ll never see a bigger smile and a tighter hug than when Luke or Aaron set their eyes on John or Alex! No surprise with those two boys, I knew they would brighten any child’s life that we brought into our family. Now Ellen….well, she has blown me away.  She was the one with the most reservations about bringing a 14 year old boy into our family, but she has welcomed him with open arms.  A little slap in the head, and punch in the arm,here and there, but definite open arms.  It is so beautiful to see her interact with Aaron and the two discover a new sibling relationship.  I think Aaron has really grown to look to Ellen in a “sisterly loving” way. My little Luke and Ashley are the annoying little sister and brother to Aaron, but so cute to watch them want to share everything with Aaron.  

Aaron has started English lessons.  We found a tutor for him that we go to 3 times a week and then we also work at home.  Lots of distractions and difficult to keep him engaged….but here again, we’ve been told this may just be a 14 year old boy. The language barrier makes it hard to communicate but we often use the translator or translate app to talk to one another.

Funny story……the night of the ESPY award show Caitlyn Jenner was accepting an award and all of a sudden my phone is handed to me from Aaron. When I looked it was set at the translator app and it read “this person a female or male person”  I thought I was going to pee in my pants.  He never voluntarily translates anything to me, and then that is what I get?!?! Too funny! Even funnier was his expression when I responded back to him.  Communicating is hard.  When I speak into the translator microphone it usually comes out correct. (I know what you’re thinking... that’s unbelievable considering my redneck country accent) Anyway, when Aaron speaks into it, lots of times it comes out wrong.  I’m sure that is very frustrating for him.

For an older kid to be adopted into a strange family and strange environment has to be harder than anyone can imagine.  I’m sure an older kid has preconceived notions of the way things should be and has memory of where and what they left.  And then to have all those emotions and no one and no way to express them….wow.  Luckily, our tutor is a college student that is Chinese and speaks Chinese and English.  Really nice to have her for Aaron to talk to and ask questions through her. It is worth our sessions just to see him talk and get so many of the questions in his mind out of his mouth.

I can remember one instant clearly soon after arriving home from China that showed me the sweet side of Aaron.  Everyone had sat down to dinner and as I was still putting food out on the table and getting drinks for everyone, Aaron said “MaMa” and motioned toward my chair to sit and eat. It’s moments like that that just melt your heart and make you fall in love with them.  It’s a fulfilling feeling to look around the dinner table and see your family enjoying each other’s conversation and food together.  If you don’t sit down and eat dinner together, try to as much as you can.  Best part of the day at the Yang house!

So many milestones since Aaron’s been home.  Biggest one is that he has learned to ride a bike!  Hard to master with a small leg and still a little shaky, but has learned enough to get his own. He was so thrilled to get a “boy” bike and stop riding Ashley’s bike with the pink streamers on the handlebars.  Determination is the word I would use to describe Aaron.  If you’ve ever seen him get around with his crutch you’ll know what I mean. I’m hoping that I can channel that quality into his schooling and catching up with the others in his grade level.  Aaron can be really insecure about his abilities and that’s where a big family comes in handy….always someone there to pat you on the back and say “Good Job!”  

If you ever see us out somewhere and you speak to Aaron, please know that he may exhibit rude-like behavior not responding, looking away and/or frowning or groaning.  Please do not take it personally.  We are working on social skills and it is just taking him some time to get used to his new surroundings.

As for little Luke….well, he is on his way to better speech through hearing better with the cochlear implant. We’re excited to see him experience the world with better hearing.  Best word to describe Luke these days….FUN! He brings tremendous joy to us all every day!!!

John and Alex are heading into their Senior year, filling out college applications and just enjoying their last year at home with us!

Ellen and Ashley, lots of softball and being sweet sisters to 4 boys in the house.

No way I can speak of all my children without speaking of Michael.  So amazing to see Michael in the lives of our newest two sons. Both boys will mention Michael’s name to me and understand he is also their brother and my son.  So cute, one day Luke came to me and pointed to the sky, clasped his hands together in a praying position and said “Michael.” Such sweetness! Luke loves to wear my necklace of Michael’s picture.  Been home 7 months and I just got my necklace back.

Adding two more children to four children and two dogs adds quite a bit of chaos to an already chaotic home….but God is good and we couldn’t be happier! THANKS BE TO GOD! God bless adoption and the difference love and a family can make for a child!

Aaron with a big celebratory sundae after Ashley's team win

Selfie with Luke....fresh haircuts!

Brotherly love!

Celebrating Dad on Father's Day at his favorite restaurant

Aaron's favorite drink, Coke...and this one especially for him!

This trip has proven to be very different from the last trip here to get Luke. Same homesick feeling for sure though…maybe even worse since I don’t have my girls  here with me like last time.  Adopting a teenager is way different than a 6 year old.  Communication is a much harder thing and much more necessary to form a bond.  Aaron has a lot to say and has a lot of questions because when we are with our guide, which is just a few hours a day, he is very talkative, but then we get back to our room and instant silence due to our language barrier.  With Luke, even though he was difficult and misbehaved, we could communicate so much easier.  Aaron just plays games on the iPad, watches Ultraman videos, and gets on QQ, which is like what our kids do in America through snapchat, twitter, etc. I keep telling myself we’re in survival mode and it’s like John and Alex told me, “At least he’s good.”  I very much miss Steve and the kids! Probably hardest part of it all, just trying to stay connected at home without being there.  I know this is a huge undertaking for Steve for me to be gone, and I’m sure Luke is riding heavy on Ellen….but I’m really proud of them all. Just one more week and Mama’s home! 

Yesterday we visited Aaron’s school and orphanage.  He was not keen on us going to the school but our guide and the ladies from the orphanage all told him it would be good for him to say goodbye.  Once at the school we waited at the gate for the guard to open it and once opened Aaron refused to go in. Myself and the others went in and one of the ladies stayed with him outside the gate.  At our arrival there, hundreds of kids were playing outside.  Several ran up to me and started saying “hello.” I was told they all wanted to use their English they are learning. We went up to the third floor and met his teacher.  After speaking with her for awhile, the children began coming back into the classroom from outside playing. Just then Aaron showed up in the classroom.  I guess they convinced him to come in. He stayed at the back of the classroom and stayed distant from everyone.  One boy in particular came up to him and handed him some cash folded up. Aaron laughed, shook his head and motioned it back to him.  The teacher told me this was his very good friend. So we made sure we got a picture with him.  The teacher settled the class down and motioned for Aaron to come up to the front. She spoke about him leaving and starting a new life in America.  She spoke with such emotion and tears…it was very touching.  Then some of the children stood and spoke to Aaron giving their well wishes.  A few girls cried and came up to the front to give him gifts….like pens and things from their desks. I think it was totally improv. Then the teacher presented a gift to Aaron from the class. It was all very moving. We said our goodbyes and left the school. Aaron did not seem to have any emotions, good or bad, of leaving.

Once back in the van, the ladies were teasing Aaron about the girls crying.  It was really cute.  He just smiled and no response. The orphanage was not a far drive down the road. Once you entered the building the bottom floor is a hospital and we took the elevator up to the 13th floor. Once off, we saw all the little children of the orphanage that are not school age.  They were trying on outfits for a program coming up. All so cute.  I took pictures so that Aaron would have to remember them all, but was told not to share them at all on social media. Many special needs among the children, but all so loving to one another. We brought a hefty bag of 400 dum dum suckers so Aaron opened and proceeded to hand out to everyone.  We were able to see the room where he slept, and all the daily happenings of his life at the orphanage. He was quick to point out the older boys pictures to me of who had already been adopted.  Right now, Aaron is the oldest at this orphanage. I have been thanked many times while here by the guides, the orphanage workers, his teachers, etc. for taking him and giving him a life. They also tell me at the orphanage and his teacher at school that he is a very kind boy, always kind to everyone. They say he’s a “good boy.”

When I asked if they know anything about his life before he was brought to the orphanage at age 9, they said it was a very painful time so they do not ask or talk about it with him.  I asked if he had gone to school before he came there, and they said no. I’m sure school has been hard if never went before age 9. He seems like a very bright kid though….at least I know he can work electronics with no problem!

When we met for the first time, the first thing he asked was “Where’s Baba?” I think that speaks volumes as to how he looks at the father figure in a family.  The other question he had was, “Will they be nice to me?” and then later he asked, “Once I turn 18, then where do I go?” Such very interesting questions and what thoughts for a 13 year old. He continues to have lots of questions about our upcoming trip to Guangzhou and then onto America.  He’s asked me, “do we just eat hamburgers and pizza?” I was happy to let him know that we have a rice cooker. He also seems to be very worried about schooling and how he will learn and if he will be behind.  I’m sure the feeling is very safe for him now because he is still able to communicate with the guide and others here, but very soon that level of communication will be gone and I pray that he will be able to weather the storm as he learns English and slowly enters our world.

Kids playing at the school

Aaron with his teacher

Sitting at his desk

Aaron with his good friend

Aaron's classroom

His class

Favorite teacher at the orphanage

Aaron's picture outside of his bedroom

Aaron's bed. 4 boys shared this room

Computer room at the orphanage

Study room at the orphanage

First few days with Aaron

It is Tuesday night here in Changsha and Aaron and I have been together two days now. On Monday morning the guide and I went to the Civil Affairs office to meet Aaron.  The orphanage called to say that they would be late due to traffic (so funny, the same happened with Luke) so we went to the third floor and waited in the reception room. I decided to take a look out the window and maybe I would see when they drove up and thank God I did because just then they pulled up and I was able to get it on my camera. Aaron looked very anxious and excited as he got out of the car and rolled his suitcase in while at the same time manueuvering with his crutch. We hurried to the elevators and then were able to capture our meeting on camera also.  He seemed much smaller than he appeared in the pictures.  The ladies with him pointed at me and immediately said "Mama" and then he said Mama and smiled. Everyone talking in Chinese and I had no idea what they were saying....but must have been good because everyone smiling.  We had paperwork to do so lots of going back and forth between rooms. Later that day we went back and finalized all the paperwork. He brought with him the photo album I had sent and I also had brought a new one. We looked through the pictures with the ladies from the orphanage.  The ladies told him, "You have a big family now, Mama and Baba and brothers and sisters. They will love you forever." Then he asked, "but will they be nice to me?" Of course everyone answered. What a question? A question like that leaves a lot of questions of where he has come from and the situation before coming to the orphanage at age 9.
One of the first things he asked is if I have a computer.  I did bring my laptop and a portable DVD player. It's a good thing because that's about all that we have done! Lol! I also brought an iPad so whichever device he is not using I use the other.  I've never played Candy Crush but have taken it up now, so look out! Also, found a few American speaking channels so good to go.  He wanted me to get QQ which is like a social network site here in China.  Once we subscribed and set it up he was so happy.  He mainly plays games.  He loves Ultraman, so went shopping today and bought lots of Ultraman episodes. He is a smart kid, really understands the computer, and picks up on things quickly.  He has a lot of questions about what is to come. Our guide translates for us when she is with us. When she is not with us, it's silent.  My google translate app works only when we have wifi. Tomorrow we visit his school and get to say goodbye to his teachers and classmates and we will also visit the orphanage. I hope to have pictures to share.

First meal together back at the hotel.  I ordered noodles with soy bean paste and he ordered hamburger and fries...they brought him a club sandwich though when the hamburger took over an hour

In the elevator with his new toy

Trip to the supermarket for snacks and drinks. Aaron asked for a toy. It's some sort of yo-yo thing.  He said all the kids at school want one.

This was in the middle of the day. So funny...he hopped over to the made bed, unmade it and got in. He's watching his Ultraman videos we got today at a book/video swap meet.

First few moments together. Taking our picture for Aaron's registration/adoption papers

On our way to China!

Today is May 22, 2015 and I’m in route to bring home our son, Aaron! This whole experience has been a complete miracle! There were obstacles along the way that sometimes I worried it all would not get done and done quick enough, but sure enough it all worked out. God is in all things good! I truly believe that God had his hand in this from the beginning, and I pray that God will hold Aaron’s hand as he transitions into this new life with us.  As I sit on this 16 hour flight I think about my family that waits at home for us, I think about this child in China that waits for my arrival, and I think about Steve’s parents, his brother, and our precious little Michael and their involvement in all of this from Heaven.  My family at home…what can I say, OMG what a wonderful husband I have to agree to take one more child into our home and be the provider for one more.  Sometimes he can be a pain (Lol…I am sure he is thinking the same about me) but he has a big heart and I love him dearly for being on board with me and where I so strongly feel God has led our family. Same for my kids….a friend brought it to my attention recently saying how great that my kids are willing to share mom and dad’s time and attention, and to open their hearts and our home to another child.  I hadn’t really thought of it that way but that is so true.  So proud of them and the sacrifices they are willing to make in order to show love and bring another into our family. And then my precious boy, Michael, in Heaven….oh, how I miss him and every day wish he were here, but I know he is with me everywhere I go and I know he is a part of all of this. And last, there’s Aaron Qian Ping, who waits for my arrival in China.  How exciting and scary at the same time for him. I can’t imagine what that must feel like to be alone in the world at 13 years of age and then have a stranger step in and say they will be your family and take you away to a foreign place.  I’m so happy to be in this position to be here and to be on my way back to China for this child.!!! I hope and pray that he will be as happy to see me too! When we went for Luke, I wasn’t very fond of China and had no plans of going back any time soon….but then all that changed when I learned of this boy. I really thought that maybe some day years down the road we would possibly go back and adopt a cute little special needs girl….but God had a different plan.  Never in my wildest dreams did I think we would adopt a teenage boy, but here we are! .  Thanks be to God!

I've posted about our little Luke since we've arrived home but somehow not connected to this blog so I've got to work on getting those posts connected, but I wanted to share our latest news officially on this blog....

THE YANG FAMILY IS EXPANDING ONCE AGAIN and we're going back to China to get him!
Well, Mom's going back....everyone else staying home this time.  After seeing how we could communicate through FaceTime twice a day with dad last time, I think the girls will be fine without mommy.
Yes, we're going back and this time to a new province and new orphanage.  Our son's name is Long Qian Ping.  Long is the name all the children are given that live at the orphanage.  Last names are given first in China. Then Qian Ping is the name he was given when he came.  Andy is the name that he was given by the adoption agency as a label to identify him.  He does not go by that name in China.  I know someone going to China next week and we plan to give her some American names and ask him to choose one.  Just thinking that this may give him a sense of control with this whole process and give him a say in what is happening.  He is 13 years old and will turn 14 on June 1st so I have to be there by that date to adopt him.  We haven't met him, but have seen pictures, read his file, seen a short video clip, and listened to an interview.  God has a plan and purpose for him and for some reason God put him in front of me and now I can't turn my back on him.  With lots of prayer, love, and strength from God I know all will be well.
Right now I sit in a hotel room in Fort Worth, Texas. I'm here to take a 2-day class training to adopt this older child.  It's great material about what to expect and about the differences in the ideal world and the world of an orphan.  I can reflect on Luke's adoption...the feelings, the emotions, the difficulties of it all, the unknowns.....and it turned out to be one of the best things, along with our 5 other children, that we've ever done! I'm so happy that we have Luke in our family and I thank God for picking us to be his parents! Some emotions you just can't put a word to...when our son, Michael, died, that was such an emotion that on the opposite end of the spectrum the joyous emotions of getting Luke...a feeling like no other and one that no one but an adoptive parent could understand.  To give a chance to a child, a child of God, and to be a part of that is indescribable. Something special has happened to our family since that day and we have all been filled with something wonderful that simple words would not do justice.
We talked a lot today in our class about what these orphans are coming to us with and all the risk factors that go along with their history.  I know this child has a history....but it is not this child.  I'm excited about the opportunity to watch him come into his own, and for our family to be a part of that!

December 2014

There is much to write of what’s been going on with  Luke ShuChen and the Yang household….and it’s all good!!!! Yay! We have one happy little fella and he, and us, are adjusting so well to all the changes.  Smiles galore at our house!  Little Luke has really brought so much love and excitement for life into our household.  To watch everything through his eyes and see his excitement in the least little things affirms faith, hope, love and joy!  All the kids are so wonderful with Luke. They immediately bonded! I know everyone says he is one lucky little fella, but to watch him with John, Alex, Ellen, and Ashley I can see the lucky part and that’s having them to look up to and to have them as brothers and sisters.

For anyone out there thinking of adoption and wondering if it’s for your family….I will say this:  If you’ve considered adopting and God lays it on your heart, then it is the path you should take.  He will take care of the rest and He will lead the way.  Don’t be afraid of all the “what if’s” and don’t be afraid of “change” for your family.  I can promise you that the change will be a good one for you all!  Every person in this world needs to know that feeling of a home and a family and someone to love them.  I encourage everyone to open up your heart and consider giving that to a child that is orphaned and may never know that feeling.  Luke is lucky that God connected us, but we are also the lucky ones to have him in our family.  

Luke is very comfortable at home.  He loves to sleep with someone, so I think he’s slept with every member of the family, minus the dogs…although I’m sure he would like to sleep in their beds with them.  He loves the dogs.  Thank goodness!  We were afraid he might be scared of them, but definitely not the case.  When at home, if you go to another room and he can’t see you sometimes he go to “panic mode” and starts calling “Ma-Maaaa!” or “Ba-Baaaa!” When you then make yourself present he calms down and just smiles. 

He has the warmest little smile.  

The hardest thing for Luke right now is when everyone leaves in the mornings.  Ashley gets on the bus, then John and Alex drive to school and then Daddy leaves…all within in 30 minutes in the mornings.  When he sees Steve put his shoes on he runs and gets his shoes and coat and ready to leave with him.  There hasn’t been a day yet that everyone has left the house and he is not fully dressed and ready to go somewhere too….even though he’s just gonna be at home with me.

Today is my sweet Michael's birthday!  He would have been 15 today.  We should be going to get his permit on Monday.  He should have started high school with his brothers this year.  He should be playing sports and going to high school ballgames and hanging out with friends.  He should be here with us blowing out his candles and opening his birthday presents today and enjoying all life has to offer and basking in the joy of it being his day and celebrating him on this day.
Well, we are celebrating him today and I hope and pray that he knows how much we miss him here.  Not a day goes by that I don't think of him.  I thank God for him every day and for the time we shared while on earth.  I know that I will see him again and until then I hope that I can live a life worthy to get where I know Michael is now.
I'm reading a great book right now called Rare Bird.  It's a memoir written by a mother who lost her 11 year old son in a freak accident while playing in the neighborhood.  I have loved reading her thoughts and feeling like they are my own put so beautifully into words.  In the book she is brutally honest with her thoughts and emotions of her grief. Her son's name was Jack.  She states,"What I'm still learning is yet another way to look at Jack's favorite Bible verse, "For nothing is impossible with God."  Jack used that verse to encourage himself in doing hard things, despite life's challenges. Then, with the accident, the verse seemed to mock me.  For (even with) God, nothing is impossible!  Our precious child could die!  Eventually, it revealed itself in a third way:  God can give comfort through birds, rainbows, dreams, visions, clouds, and signs.  Why had I thought that a holy God wouldn't  or couldn't use those means to show His love? Nothing is impossible with God.  And finally, I've been learning that with God so close to me in my heartache, what I thought was impossible is possible, surviving and perhaps eventually thriving despite losing my Jack."  Reading her words made me think of where our family is right now with our current adoption.  Through God working in our hearts, something that we thought could be impossible is possible.  There is a little boy in our home that needed love, guidance and a family to call his own.  And now he is here! God has put him in our lives and I hope to give him all that God, who created him, intends for him.  As I grieve for Michael, I do know that God is watching over him now for me.....just as we now watch over, and love, one of God's lost children ....our very own little Luke ShuChen Yang!
We always decorate our Christmas tree on Michael's birthday.  Today it was a joyous occasion for little Luke!  He loved hearing the Christmas music and hanging all the fun "kid-made" ornaments.  Yes, we have that Christmas tree...the one with all the construction paper ornaments that are basically dried glue and glitter. Priceless ornaments... literally priceless, lol...and you don't have to worry about anyone breaking them too.  Luke ShuChen loved grabbing them and laying claim to some as his and then pointing to the others when he thought it needed to belong to them.  He even pointed to Mama when there was one that he thought belonged to me.  When finished he looked at us and then the tree and just smiled and clapped his hands.  Greatest moment of the day!
Thank you God for giving me Michael!  Even though he was only here for 23 months, he lives FOREVER in my heart and the hearts of others, and for that I will be ETERNALLY grateful!